Rejection hurts – be it in the professional front or personal, it causes pain. Unfortunately, it is something we all experience at some point in our lives. Overcoming rejection can be challenging but once we do so, we emerge as stronger and more resilient individuals.

What Is Rejection?

When our attempt at connection is turned down, we feel rejected. It can happen in a wide range of circumstances – rejection from a job, rejection by a love interest or even being excluded from social gatherings.

As humans, we have a need to be accepted. It is a very basic need that people have always experienced since ancient times. In prehistoric times, the need to be part of a group was essential for survival, and though times have changed drastically, the emotional need to feel accepted remains.

Rejection opens up a plethora of emotions including sadness, anger and frustration. So, how do we deal with it? It is best to view rejection as part of the human experience and not take it personally. Viewing it as an opportunity to change for the better will make us better individuals.

The Stages of Rejection

• Denial: This is usually our reaction to anything negative be it criticism, grief or rejection. This is because this is our mind’s way of dealing with it – it needs time to come to terms with what has happened and denial gives our mind that much needed space.
• Anger: Anger usually follows denial. Anger directed at ourselves, at the person who rejected us or just at the way things turned out. It is again a natural reaction to the hurt inflicted.
• Bargaining: At this stage, we are finally able to face the situation and examine it. We go through what happened and how we could have averted it – various “what-if” scenarios run through our minds.
• Depression: As reality sets in, we feel sad and mourn for what we have lost. We start to accept what has happened.
• Acceptance: We finally come to terms with rejection. This is a crucial stage as it determines how we move forward. The wise option would be to find ways to mature from the whole experience.

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Handling Rejection

In the Job Front: 

• Job rejections happen to everyone but that doesn’t mean they hurt any less.
• You will be upset – allow yourself to feel it and then move on with your job search.
• Remember that job rejections aren’t personal.
• Most companies will provide feedback about the job interview. Use it to improve your approach to future interviews.
• Make a list of your strengths – this will help improve your self-confidence.
• Think of the questions you did not provide satisfactory answers to during your interview.
• Prepare better for them.
• Do not over-analyze and move on.

In the Personal Front:

• Be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, rejection in either is difficult.
• Give yourself time to come to terms with the emotions that you are feeling.
• Do not close yourself off from your family and friends.
• Do not let that one relationship determine your self-worth.
• Try to understand what went wrong.
• You can choose to move on if you wish but if you want to express your emotions to the person concerned, do so in a healthy way.
• Indulge in self-care – do activities that make you happy and improve your well-being.
• Focus on the positives, stay open to future possibilities and remind yourself that everything happens for a reason.

Moving Forward

People do eventually move forward and carry on with their lives following rejection. But if you are finding it difficult to do so, the following tips may help.

• Do not try to suppress negative feelings – whether it is sorrow or disappointment, allow yourself to feel it. When you don’t try to stamp it out, the feeling will pass.
• Once you feel you are ready, do think about the whole experience in a non-judgmental manner. Is there a way you can use the experience to fuel your growth?
• Do not be too critical on yourself. Be kind to yourself as you would have been to a friend in the same situation.
• Indulge in activities that calm you like meditation, or ones you enjoy like sports or other hobbies. Spending time with loved ones too can help you heal.
• Set some realistic goals – this will help build your self-confidence once again. Try something new if you feel up to it. Often, trying our hand at something new takes up quite a bit of our mind space. This can help us move on.
• Focus on your strengths and positive qualities. This will help instill self-confidence once again. Recall past successes – this will remind you that one setback does not define you.
• Believe that rejection is just a temporary hindrance. You are ultimately going to succeed.
• Mindfulness can help with keeping you focused on the present. It can restore emotional balance and reduce stress and anxiety.
• Do talk about the experience with friends and family. You will find that unburdening yourself can help immensely.
• Finally, do remember that when one door closes, another opens. The world is full of possibilities and opportunities. Be open to trying new things and believe that better things are to come.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is rejection?

Rejection occurs when our attempts to connect or seek acceptance are denied, leading to feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration.

2. How can I cope with rejection?

Allow yourself to feel your emotions, reflect on the experience, and engage in self-care activities. Talking to friends and family can also help.

3. What are the stages of rejection?

The stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each stage is part of the healing process.

4. How do I handle job rejections?

Acknowledge your feelings, seek feedback to improve, focus on your strengths, and keep applying for other opportunities.

5. What should I do after personal rejection?

Give yourself time to heal, stay connected with loved ones, and engage in activities that bring you joy.

6. How can I move forward after being rejected?

 Reflect on the experience, set realistic goals, practice self-compassion, and remain open to new opportunities.

7. Is rejection a normal part of life?

Yes, rejection is a common experience that everyone encounters at some point, and it can lead to personal growth if handled well.

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